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It's always something

Lake Benton Valley Journal of Lake Benton, Minnesota

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Off the Mark

"Well, Jane, it just goes to show you, it's always something — if it ain't one thing, it's another." ~ Roseanne Rosean-nadanna — 1977.

Most of us older than dirt remember Gilda Radner's "Saturday Night Live" character in those long-ago Weekend Updates. If you are too young, you should really find one of those sketches on YouTube. Gilda is gone now, but her iconic catchphrase still rings true. It's always something.

As I'm typing this on Tuesday morning it is 50 degrees outside. Oh, and it is the 24th anniversary of the end of the Halloween Blizzard of 1991.1 would guess you kids could YouTube that also. Okay, yeah, I just checked. If you type in Halloween blizzard 1991 Minnesota, you get a choice of 375 videos. I didn't find any of them that mentioned me specifically, but yesterday also happened to be the 24th anniversary of Kathy and I getting married.

I've told this story before, so I'll just hit the highlights.

I was working for Tyler Wholesale at the time. Halloween was on a Thursday, and when I got off work it was raining. I was also playing for a band called Impact (yeah, I know, worst band name in history) and we were booked to play in the Windom Legion on Halloween night. The rain turned to snow early that evening and by the time we were finished playing, it was heavy enough so the band members decided to check into the Johnson Motel and head home in the morning. I had taken Friday off to help get ready for the wedding, so it was wiser to spend the night than risk driving in some seriously heavy snow.

By Friday morning the winds had come up and it was still snowing. Our Friday morning attempt to form a caravan with my band mates was frightening in whiteout conditions, and when we buried lead guitarist Jeff Downs' car a few miles out of town, we turned around and headed back to the motel.

Later that day when law enforcement was not allowing anyone to leave town, it was becoming obvious I would not be making it back to Tyler for the groom's supper scheduled for that evening.

As we know now, it wouldn't quit snowing and blowing for another two days.

The next event to fall was the wedding dance. We planned to just scale back the weekend and be happy we were able to have a wedding. We never imagined I still would be stuck at the Johnson Motel on Saturday. This was back in the days before we all had cell phones, so regular collect calls to Kathy in Tyler were needed to continue to re-plan or weekend. (Maybe you kids can Google what a collect call was.) Pastor Karl Lunder was in contact with Kathy and we knew we didn't have many options to reschedule, so we held out hope until mid-Saturday morning. We were still not allowed to leave Windom so we had to pull the plug. The wedding would not happen on Nov. 2, 1991. Most of my relatives had been in Tyler or Russell since Thursday, when the family had a bridal shower for Kathy.

We tentatively rescheduled for Sunday, when we were supposed to be at the Tampa Bay/Vikings football game. The Kronborg Inn kept our reception food on ice, including the cake that spelled out a message that insisted we got married on

November 2nd.

Meanwhile, my fellow band members were still at the Johnson. We had about a six-inch drift INSIDE the door of the motel room. Two days prior we had rented the last Nintendo unit at the local video store, and were slogging through our 50th game of Lunar Pool.

Finally, on Sunday morning the sun came out and the wind subsided. One last phone call to Tyler and I found out that on the morning of our postponed wedding, our water heater quit working and Kathy had a very frosty shower. It's always something.

The shortest route home was blocked with snow yet, but I was able to get home by first going through Worthington and then up Highway 59. I got back to Tyler in time to slip into my tux before we had a quick wedding rehearsal as guests were being seated. Our musicians were unable to make it to town, so my sister Barb and I sang. We were also short attendants, so family members filled in. One of the wedding rings fell on the Danebod altar and rolled a distance before being tackled. One of our substitute bridesmaids fainted and was fortunately caught by my father-in-law-to-be before she did a back flip off the steps.

It's always something.

We finally pulled it off without any deaths or bloodshed. We cancelled our short honeymoon trip and went back to work on Monday. If somebody was trying to tell us something about our marriage we ignored it and here we are 24 years later, still surviving the typical twists and turns that happen in any marriage. Happy Anniversary to us!

Next week, I will recount my experience from last week and talk to you about what it is like to have your side airbags deploy.

It's always something.

Copyright 2015 Lake Benton Valley Journal, Lake Benton, Minnesota. All Rights Reserved. This content, including derivations, may not be stored or distributed in any manner, disseminated, published, broadcast, rewritten or reproduced without express, written consent from SmallTownPapers, Inc.

Original Publication Date: November 4, 2015

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